My grandpa, Fred Roberts, was known for many things. But a sense of humor wasn’t one of them. As my dad puts it, “He didn’t say much. But he meant what he said.”
One day great grandpa Elbert’s family were visiting some relatives. Their cousins were a little mean, and decided it would be fun to throw the Robertses into a nearby river. After they had thrown grandpa’s brothers and father in, they came to him.
He immediately pulled out his large hawkbill knife (used for grading tobacco) and told them, “The first man that touches me, I’ll cut him hip-to-hip”.
Needless to say, grandpa did not get thrown in the river that day.